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爱情新解(7)Painkillers

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛When the nurse apologized for the pain caused by a blood test needle, I was very surprised and wondered whether she was being disingenuous; but later I found they really meant it. It was amazing to watch the way Westerners reacted to pain and how widely and casually they used painkillers.

I found pain very intriguing and complex.

In the year 2000, we went to Mexico and visited a museum with some famous Frida Kahlo paintings. I was shocked. That was the first time I saw her works and they registered with me right away. I could literally feel her pain, her bleeding heart, her struggle, her helplessness and her craving for life. The painting with two hearts and two Fridas took me back to my own experience of serious emotional pain many years ago. I remembered I drifted into sleep after hours of crying and total exhaustion. Half asleep and half awake, I felt my heart was full of tears and overflowed to those many tubes connecting the heart, only found more to come. That image of pain was so visceral just like her paintings.

When there is no way for me to escape pain, I started watching, feeling and sometimes even enjoying pain.

Pain is too simple a word, it is also too limited and lacks specificity to explain the sensation in its extreme. It can be as sharp as a knife cutting the skin; it can be a dull throb that you can’t identify but get used to living with.

I started looking into the other side of pain after I read about alternative healing. It says that our unspoken fears create blocks or crimps in the body's energy flow, and it's these blocks that ultimately result in problems and show up mostly as pain. By focusing our attention on the pain and trying to feel it as much as possible, we can determine its exact location. Instead of ignoring it, covering it up or killing it, we can follow the pain into our bodies and minds like a beacon and found out the real cause.

Is it our imbalance, blockage of energy flow, faulty expectation, fear, loneliness, discontent, insecurity, denial or weakness?

Only after we seek out the cause, can we cure the problem and prevent it from reoccurring. The same is true with relationships. Denying what happened, getting a replacement of “love” immediately, shifting our attention to something else or shutting down most of our senses are the most common painkillers for treating a painful relationship problem or breakup. Some of them have negative side effects. For example, a quick replacement covers up the pain but only brings more in the future; a series of failures can destroy one’s faith in love and denying the past only confuses us more.

So?

So use painkillers with discretion. They can only kill the pain but doesn’t resolve the problem. Instead, feel it; it is an important dialogue between our body and soul. Look deeper; find the true cause and work on it. This is the only way that we can find relief from long lasting pain and prevent future episodes from occurring.

A healthy life should be pain free and full of joy.

Thanks for reading.
January 2, 2004 Hawaii

Coming...
爱情新解(8) Life integration
爱情新解(9)Our little life更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 爱情新解(7)Painkillers
    • I like this one better.
    • Sometimes pain is unavoidable, it might be a good lesson in marriage if cured from source.
    • Pain free and full of joy? that is perfect life. "Advil" free is good enough for
      ....... me, hehe
    • So 之后,写的好像有点模糊。
      • 恩, 达不到thesis defence的标准. 退回重写!
      • 依赖读者自己琢磨:P...其实我做事经常虎头蛇尾,大概这也算一例:)
        • 其实我想说虎头蛇尾并不十分恰当,可能另一个原因是你自己并没有完全想通,也可能是因为我自己想不明白。今天把你的其他这一系列的文章看了一遍,写得不错,尽管有的时候不是十分透彻。
          • 4000字节左右是我现在能handle的,希望不断练习后,能更得心应手一些。:)写东西还是太业余,只能一气呵成地写,断了线就接不上。谢谢MM的鼓励:)
            • 谢谢你的文章。Good luck.
    • 贴完文章后去见理疗师,期间提到写了篇关于pain的文字,她给我一本书看,叫“explain pain" 才发现观点有相似之处啊。从这本书学到了不少东西。原来只是观察和感受,书则解释得更清楚:)
    • 饺啊, 看了你的 爱情白皮书, 很受启发啊, 只是E文的东西, 体会不准了. 中文说 卿卿我我, E文就不能说 油油蜜蜜 吧? 怎么说才更传神呢? 谢啦.
      • 一对一翻译很难。。。有时候中文一个词,包含几层意思,不好用一个词表达;反之亦然。这是语言的魅力之一啊。举个例子,据说荷兰语中没有worry这个词
    • face the pain, embrace it.
    • 饺子, 偶从第1篇看到现在, 越来越有点迷惑了....
      有一种, "想跳出来, 站在一边看戏"的感觉在里面, JJ好想超脱的感觉....
      • well...
        其实感想由来的时间跨度很长,包括个人的经历和观察别人的生活。所以不能简单地全归并到现在。;)不过谁知道呢,有时候人的潜意识只有过上一段时间才清楚,也许MM已经看出我自己尚未感受到的端倪呢:)
        • 此心悠悠, 此文悠悠, 写的是心, 读的是人啊... 可惜世事无常, 难以复辙...