本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛To whom it may concern,
This is an application towards your vacancy. And congratulations on being
the 200th application I have sent out. I know that just like the others,
once you scan this cover letter for 7 seconds, you won't take the time to
read my resume, and will toss it in the trash pile. You will have judged my
technical skills and ability to do the job effectively with no technical
knowledge on your part, aside from somehow being able to boot your pc in the
mornings.
After reading 15, 20 of these applications, you will get bored and say,
"Fuck it!", go have a smoke and a large black Tim Hortons coffee, as you
wonder why your ass seems to have gotten a size 16, and why your husband
hasn't been able to get it up these past months.
After bitching to a co-worker about how little you get paid, you will return
to your pile of desperate highly skilled applicants, pick the top 4 and call
them in for an interview. The best of the worst will make it to the next
round.
Of course, remember *NOT* to notify the unsuccessful interviewees, who took
the time to get over to your mediocre company in the hopes they may land a
job that pays more than two bucks above minimum wage.
Look, I know you won't even get this far reading the cover letter, even if
you bothered getting this far deep into the pile of applications.
But those silly people at Human Resources Development Canada expect me to
apply to at least 2 jobs a day, so here you go. I've fulfilled my end of the
bargain to get my $414/week, 1/3 what I was making while working, but hey,
beats having your job.
Attached is a very clear and concise resume. The writing of it was assisted
by career placement agencies that cost someone a lot of money, but you won't
even get to see it.
Hey, time for another smoke and another coffee...I'll wait...see you in a
few
minutes.....................................................................
..................................hi, you're back. Hope you washed your
hands after peeing..you should really see a doctor about putting you on a
diet....anyway, if you feel my skills will be a valuable ass err, I mean
asset to your organization, please call me on the number listed on the
resume you haven't read.
Sincerely,
<<Insert Name here>>>更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
This is an application towards your vacancy. And congratulations on being
the 200th application I have sent out. I know that just like the others,
once you scan this cover letter for 7 seconds, you won't take the time to
read my resume, and will toss it in the trash pile. You will have judged my
technical skills and ability to do the job effectively with no technical
knowledge on your part, aside from somehow being able to boot your pc in the
mornings.
After reading 15, 20 of these applications, you will get bored and say,
"Fuck it!", go have a smoke and a large black Tim Hortons coffee, as you
wonder why your ass seems to have gotten a size 16, and why your husband
hasn't been able to get it up these past months.
After bitching to a co-worker about how little you get paid, you will return
to your pile of desperate highly skilled applicants, pick the top 4 and call
them in for an interview. The best of the worst will make it to the next
round.
Of course, remember *NOT* to notify the unsuccessful interviewees, who took
the time to get over to your mediocre company in the hopes they may land a
job that pays more than two bucks above minimum wage.
Look, I know you won't even get this far reading the cover letter, even if
you bothered getting this far deep into the pile of applications.
But those silly people at Human Resources Development Canada expect me to
apply to at least 2 jobs a day, so here you go. I've fulfilled my end of the
bargain to get my $414/week, 1/3 what I was making while working, but hey,
beats having your job.
Attached is a very clear and concise resume. The writing of it was assisted
by career placement agencies that cost someone a lot of money, but you won't
even get to see it.
Hey, time for another smoke and another coffee...I'll wait...see you in a
few
minutes.....................................................................
..................................hi, you're back. Hope you washed your
hands after peeing..you should really see a doctor about putting you on a
diet....anyway, if you feel my skills will be a valuable ass err, I mean
asset to your organization, please call me on the number listed on the
resume you haven't read.
Sincerely,
<<Insert Name here>>>更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net