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I don't understand what you people are talking about

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛this is North America. If you want to go out with your boss and hang around with him and have fun that is your choice. However, if you don't like him and you don't want to be too close to him you don't have to. What is the worst that can happen? you may lose your job. so what? It is still better than to work for a scumbag. If you love yourself enough you should not compromise too much.
Your boss has the right to express his feelings (or desire). But you have the right to say "no". You can always take him to court for sexual harassement.
Keep in mind that this is a society that supposedly grants each individual with equal rights. if you don't understand/execute your rights no one else will do. the "Boss" here is not like the "Laoban" in the old days. He/she can fire you but he/she should never insult you or take advantage of you.
If I were you this is what I would do:
if he only flirts with you that is no big deal -- we do it all the time in the office. Most time it is harmless. I would not worry about it.
If he is doing more than flirting and it begins to intimate/scare you I would want him know I am not comfortable and I don't like it.
If he does not stop I would go over his head to talk to his boss or someone above him and ask them to stop him. At this point you must be ready to pack up and leave because you have already burned your bridge -- no one is happy for being accused of harassment, even though he deserves it.
if nothing/no one can stop him I would resign and get a lawyer.
the bottom line is:
I sleep with whoever I want to sleep -- not whoever thinks he has the right to force me to.
You own yourself. he does not own you. You only work for him.
You can always tell "fuck off" if he deserves it.
I can put up with my boss' temper when I cannot make the dead line or when I screw up a big project. But to put up with something like this is a little too much.
good luck.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 工作学习 / 事业与工作 / 如果你的老板(异性)是个你很厌烦的那种人,可偏偏他好象有些那个对你,特喜欢找你说话或是约你吃饭,你会怎么办?唉,怎一个烦字了得。
    • kick his ass! 干得不开心就辞了算了,总比整天如坐针毡的好,而且将来的麻烦也许不少,当断不断反受其乱
      • 可是工作不好找啊,哪能说不干就不干呢。
        • 工作是不好找,但是心情不好或者有麻烦就不值得乐
          • 麻烦应该不至于有,他还没那个胆量好象,主要是心烦还不能表现出来。:(
            • 色胆包天啊!
        • 跟你bf讲过没?看他怎么说,如果我gf有这种麻烦,我立刻就样她回家
          • 讲过,他让我自己小心点,估计他也没办法。
            • sigh, 真替你担心
              • 谢谢你。
                • 客气了,生活中麻烦到处都是,可以选择面对也可以选择逃避,但是保护自己才是最重要的
    • 好简单,对他说,可以带我老公一块儿去吗?(如果你有的话,否则把老公换成bf)
      • 没有老公,bf很忙,其实吃饭还是可以找借口推掉的,关键是他老是找我聊天真讨厌。
        • 千万别犹疑....下次他再纠缠你的时候,就说要给BF回个电话....有几次它就应该知趣了....
          • 可是他要在工作时间,以工作话题为借口呢?那时根本不能打私人电话的。
            • 工作时间公事公办,别给他太多笑容.....他讲无聊笑话的时候装作茫然不懂的样子,让他知道什么叫尴尬.没准他也会觉得你没劲就不骚扰你了。下班后,什么事儿都用BF挡着....
              • 恩,以后不对他勉强挤出微笑了,累啊。
        • 方法二:继续聊,聊天的时候,故意显示出一种心不在焉的状态。答非所问,牛头硬对马嘴,比如忙手头工作,再比如作沉思状。。。。让他感觉到你没拿他当二百吊钱数。
          • 如果这样他会不会找个理由炒掉我呢?
            • 其实,只要你掌握好分寸,不会有太大麻烦的。最聪明的是让他在希望和失望中徘徊。 但估计你不是那种女人,所以给他一种礼节上的客套,多一点冷淡为宜。
              • 看来我得学会客气地冷淡。
        • 最损的一招,撩拨他一下,再告他性骚扰,嘿嘿
          • 别干傻事,这年头找工作比找老公难得多。有很多方法解决这个问题的。听听大夥儿的意见。
            • 主意比较馊,但是我觉得工作也就是那样,没有必要为了工作而失去那些更重要的东西
            • 是啊,好不容易才找到的工作呢。
              • 明白,但是我还不是把工作给quit了,没什么特别,就是觉得有比工作更重要的事情做
                • 可是首先得养活自己呀,生活的压力往往让人没法随心随意。
              • 我分析。你的问题是两方面的。一是你对那个老板没兴趣,原因可能是多方面的,比如你有了喜欢的bf,再比如这老板本身是个粗坯子等等。二是你是个人生态度很严肃的女孩,在此问题上觉得来不得假,所以处于尴尬地步。
                • 跟没说一样,随便的女孩还用在这里倒苦水么?
                  • 呵呵,瞧你急的,先号准了脉,才能下药是吧。
                    • 没办法,兄弟我就是喜欢直来直去
                      • 是的,但你应该想到,这位姑娘是绝对舍不得放弃这份来自不易的工作机会的。 所以呢,为她着想,找个两全其美的方法为上。
                        • 就象楼下的那位dx说的,这是她最大的弱点,也是最容易被人利用的一点,真有两全其美的办法最好乐!
                          • 不过如果真到了不能容忍的程度我也会依然放弃的,只是现在觉得没到那个程度,毕竟他只是找我聊天什么的,就是心烦。
                            • 成了,相信你心中有数的,我要替自己着急了,书还没看完呢,麻烦大了,祝好运吧
                              • 谢谢你,也祝你学业有成。
                    • 分析的很对,跟着可以下药了。:)
                      • 给他吃那个什么含笑半步癫吧
                        • :D
                      • 方子一。掌握战场主动权,开口必言老公(bf).主动将他的所有话题引伸到你最亲爱,最敬佩,最有能力,最酷,帅呆了的bf 身上。让他感到自惭形秽。
                        • 如果这个老板在这种情况下仍然不知趣的话,他一定是个粗坯子,低级色狼。 方子二:装出很迷惘的神色对他说:好喜欢你给我的这份工作,但我老公不喜欢。 他不喜欢我们总聊天儿,总让我辞了他养我。。。。(呵呵,假的)
                          • 如果他根本不在乎你辞职的要挟,说明他雇佣你的目的并非是工作需要你,或者你胜任这份工作。方子三:改变你自己,或者卷铺盖。
                            • 如果真那样,不会改变自己的,只能是卷铺盖走人了。
                          • 呵呵,没老公说这话好象没底气呢。
                        • 恩,记住了,多谢,方法二呢。
                        • 恩,南京猿说的很有道理。动不动就想辞职是没有责任心也是不成熟的表现,工作中、生活中碰到这点儿小麻烦算什么。花点时间总能想到好的解决办法,肯定比辞职好的多。
          • 啊,不行不行,再说我根本也做不出来。
            • 所以说馊主意么,别听我的了,我胡说呢
    • 应该成年人都会处理这类问题,只要有决心。
    • 你太在意这份工作了,是致命弱点,有更重要的。。。
      • 9494
      • 是这样的,真的很怕失去这份工作。:(
        • 大不了就回家呗,俺娘早就跟俺打过招呼了,不好就回家去
          • 你真潇洒啊,不过我还是想再忍忍吧,毕竟还在忍受程度之内。
            • sigh,男的都这样,牙被打碎了还得自己咽下去,明天去HRDC,看有没有EI拿,晚上网上申请折腾了一个小时,居然被系统给町出来了,郁闷
              • 呵呵,好事多磨嘛,可能他们只是想见见你呢,明天申请一定会成功的。
            • 心理软弱=半腿斑鸠^_^
              • 哦?我倒没觉得自己心理软弱,只是人生总有些无奈的时候,另外我还需要学会排遣烦恼。
    • 我也碰到过这种事情而且我的老板好象更严重,可是为了这份该死的工作也真不敢撕破脸皮。装做不在意,时不时提提他夫人会好一些。要是在国内我早一脚把他踹开了,这里,把握分寸忍着点吧,毕竟生活是艰难的。:(
      • 唉,想的跟我一样,让我们互相鼓励一下吧,也许很快就有了更好的工作机会就可以炒他们的鱿鱼啦。
    • 聊就聊呗,不用怕什么,如果被撩的话就告诉他你不喜欢, 若因此被炒了也就可以告他了。 如果什么都忍的话不光害了你自己,也会害了后来者。 你说呢? 记得小时看小说,一个老江湖说,没事时咱怕事,事来了就啥也别怕.
      • 恩,谢谢你,聊就聊吧,不喜欢就走走神想想心事吧,反正总是烦恼只能对自己不好,我是想好了,他敢进一步的话我就不客气啦。
    • 谢谢大家开解我,现在心情好多了,看来有烦恼还是说出来比较好,听你们劝劝、安慰安慰、出出主意就觉得开朗多了,可能本来就没什么大不了的,反正也没太过分,就是牺牲耳朵了,呵呵。再次感谢大家!
      • I don't understand what you people are talking about
        本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛this is North America. If you want to go out with your boss and hang around with him and have fun that is your choice. However, if you don't like him and you don't want to be too close to him you don't have to. What is the worst that can happen? you may lose your job. so what? It is still better than to work for a scumbag. If you love yourself enough you should not compromise too much.
        Your boss has the right to express his feelings (or desire). But you have the right to say "no". You can always take him to court for sexual harassement.
        Keep in mind that this is a society that supposedly grants each individual with equal rights. if you don't understand/execute your rights no one else will do. the "Boss" here is not like the "Laoban" in the old days. He/she can fire you but he/she should never insult you or take advantage of you.
        If I were you this is what I would do:
        if he only flirts with you that is no big deal -- we do it all the time in the office. Most time it is harmless. I would not worry about it.
        If he is doing more than flirting and it begins to intimate/scare you I would want him know I am not comfortable and I don't like it.
        If he does not stop I would go over his head to talk to his boss or someone above him and ask them to stop him. At this point you must be ready to pack up and leave because you have already burned your bridge -- no one is happy for being accused of harassment, even though he deserves it.
        if nothing/no one can stop him I would resign and get a lawyer.
        the bottom line is:
        I sleep with whoever I want to sleep -- not whoever thinks he has the right to force me to.
        You own yourself. he does not own you. You only work for him.
        You can always tell "fuck off" if he deserves it.
        I can put up with my boss' temper when I cannot make the dead line or when I screw up a big project. But to put up with something like this is a little too much.
        good luck.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
        • That' s it.
        • agree.
    • 为什么你不明确的和他说,“我很喜欢这份工作。我和你只是工作关系,不想发展任何私人关系,也对你个人没有兴趣,请你尊重我的感受。”如果他是个正常的男人,会对你肃然起敬的。没有明确的拒绝,别人会认为你默许。
    • Come on, let him know what you feel clearly! Or call your HR, it is sexual harassment.
    • 唉, 要是有异性老板请我吃饭就好了...
    • 每吃一次饭, 要求加一次工资。
      • 不要去吃饭,哪怕是一次,因为他会以为你默许了他的追求。你的优柔寡断会令他觉得还有希望。
    • 不记得那本书上讲的了,说西人请女士吃饭可能只是想交普通朋友,如果请你去他们家坐坐。。。。。。“一般当天晚上就下不来了”(书上原话)。